Its official. I’m going to be jobless soon. Well, not literally jobless, just no more in project. And since I’ve always wanted to be on bench, I’m kinda happy. But also a little sad. I don’t think I’ll get a team like this anywhere else, and my luck with my bosses and leads has always been good. Great in fact. No khit-khit or being rude or dirty glances. And the fun that we have teasing each other and making fun of people around us is incomparable. One and a half years in the corporate world, and most of it has gone pretty smooth.
Now, I don’t know. I’m in a dilemma on whether I should continue here or move to where my interests lie.(No, that’s not whats keeping me awake at 2 in the night.) Ideally, I should just quit and join events right now instead of wasting more time in a place where I can (actually) feel my brain decaying. Most of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing and why. In fact, no one in the software field know what they’re doing. They’re like mindless zombies just rushing around in order to complete the day’s work and go home. And what do they go home for? To eat and sleep. No one I know actually does anything other than this. Weekends that are spent away from office are used to make up for all the sleep that has been lost during the entire week. I’m lucky that I don’t have to spend my weekends in my cubicle or leave office at 9 or 10 in the night (my parents would have disowned me an year back if anything of that sort would have happened). A friend at work (married less than an year ago) had her husband come down from Bangalore to live with her a month back. And I can bet my next paycheck that they haven’t spent more than 20 waking hours together in the entire month. He’s asleep when she wakes up and leaves for work, and she’s snoring away by the time he returns from work. I mean, whats the point of all this? Who are we doing all this for? Families that we don’t even get to see during the week? Or ourselves? We won’t even recognize ourselves a few years down the line if this routine continues. Ok now this is turning into a rant, which was not my intention. So I’ll stop here.
True, life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. But we do have control over certain parts of our life and we can mould it the way we wish to. Guess its time for me to steer my life in the direction that I want it to go, not sit back and watch it take its course and wish for the world to invent a time machine so I can go back and re-live it again. No sir, I’m not one of those people who regret anything in life. Cos at one point of time, I know it is exactly what I wanted.